I was trying to get ready to leave for my writer's group tonight, but one thing after another happened and it was not meant to be. A bumped nose; a sibling's not-so-nice reaction; nervous tension; and the fact that I kept misplacing the paper with the address revealed to me that it might not be a good idea to go out driving tonight. I already had a little bumper clash last week because my mind was off somewhere else and I was not paying attention to what was ahead of me. That was enough inconvenience for a lifetime. Honestly, I would have liked to go tonight. It may have done me some good to get out, but at least I now have an idea and some time to actually write my blog. So, bear with me as I take some time to say what is on my heart. It may not be as happy and cheerful as previous blogs, but as often as the weather changes in our New England states, so does the moods of a wife, mother, sister, and daughter.
Change. It is a word I have never liked to hear because it always meant work on my part. The work might not require physical labor, but it might mean a sacrifice of some sort that cwould take mental effort just to process the idea that things may have to be done differently. Moving can set that process in motion, or having a grandparent pass away that changes how you celebrate a holiday or where you spend vacations. Change can mean going from homeschooling to attending a private school and your time is not your own anymore. Change can mean a way of doing things in the home or how you handle raising your children; a change in diet or exercise can be a good thing, though like I said before, it requires sacrifice and a different mindset.
Once again I am facing change in my life and I am not sure I am liking what I see ahead of me. I feel very secure in the usual routine of life and anytime something shifts, it leaves me feeling unsettled inside. I know Who I can turn to in such a time as this, for Jesus holds my future in His hands. I can take comfort in the fact that He will never change and He is the same God Who was with me as I grew up and proved faithful in so many ways. I remember my teen years, when I could be happy one minute and upset the next - so many nights I would cry out to my best Friend and He would reach down and fill me with such a sweet peace that would fill my soul. Though the problem would not be gone, I could rest in the fact that He understood and would take care of it in His time. I could lay my burden at Jesus' feet and He would shoulder my load and carry me the rest of the way. I am so glad my Jesus has not changed. He is still the same caring Father today as He was twenty years ago. He loves me so much and wants to carry my burdens instead of letting me be weighed down with them. All I have to do is give them over to Him and trust Him, like a child trusts his earthly parent, because He knows best. I am so glad my Jesus is real - so real I can feel Him in my soul. Where would I be without my best Friend?