Just Keep On Walking

     A couple of weeks ago, my sister-in-law was getting ready to fly back to California and she needed a ride to her father's house in Rocky Neck. We had a pleasant drive out there, chatting and talking about her future plans for when she got back to the warm state on the Pacific coast. One of these years I will get out there to see the Pacific Ocean and Redwood forest...ahhh, I can dream, can't I? 
     After saying goodbye, I got onto the highway and headed home again, with a sadness in my heart that comes from so many roller coasters that I seem to be riding upon lately. I looked around at the trees and suddenly all the memories of so many trips alone to my grandmother's house flooded my mind. It was as if I was on automatic pilot, heading up to Massachusetts to spend a day with Grandma, a time I had come to love and cherish over the years. Yet, as quickly as the moment came, it was squashed by the realization that I could never do that again...here on earth. I looked up at the beautiful clear blue sky, with a few fluffy cotton balls floating lazily around, and the tears came. She's gone. She's not here. She is with Jesus. Yes, I will see her again, but that does not ease the pain of missing her while I am on this earth. Just a side note here:  you never know when a loved one will be taken from you. I miss my father so much. I miss my grandmother. They passed with good terms between us, but I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to have someone leave this earth with unforgiveness between family and friends, and you will never be able to work it out if they are gone. Forgive while you have a chance. It takes a step of faith, but He will help you through it. 
     I got to thinking how precious our friends and family really are. There are so many things that are never said, which can be misunderstood as unsupportiveness, disinterest, unforgiveness, and yes, maybe even hatred at times. I see it all around me and the pain of not knowing what to do or say makes me feel like I am nothing. Who am I  to think that I can change anything? It is only God that can do a work in anyone's heart. I can pray, yes, YES!, I can pray, that God will break down the walls that surround so many loved ones in my life. I do not always know exactly what to say when I pray, but God knows the pain in my heart. People have said that I am strong, but I am not. I am not strong at all. I told the Lord this morning that He is my strength, but not just when I am weak. HE IS MY STRENGTH. I am always weak. Without Him I would be right where so many others are - without Him I am nothing. The old song, "The Warrior Is A Child" rings clear in my head...

"...But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears.
They don't know that
I go running home when I fall down.
They don't know Who picks me
Up when no one is around.
I drop my sword and cry for just a while;
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child."

We get weary in this battle for the Lord. There are real struggles around us and there are times when I want to throw in the towel. I don't want to do this anymore. Like this morning. I felt so alone. Abandoned. Left to fend for myself in this daily walk. I have been the one to give so much lately, listening to people upset with life, directing discouraged ones to the Lord, trying to ease strife between people, yet, I have no idea if any of it is doing anything. Again, I am nothing. He alone can work the changes. I just pray that God will give me wisdom and the right words to say. He is my All in All. And, true to His nature, He once again met me this morning and filled me with peace and reminded me of another old song that I truly understand the meaning of now. Before it was just a fun song to sing, and I always liked it, but now I need it:

Are you weary in well doing,
Walking on the road to New Jerusalem.
Are you hoping and a-praying,
Looking any minute for the Lord to come?
And do you see a lot of pleasant lookin' places,
Where you might lay down and take a rest,
And if you do take a look at all the faces there,
The sadness will tell you that it’s best...to
  
 Keep on walking, you don’t know how far you’ve come,
Keep on walking, for all you know it may be done,
And the Father might be standing up right now to give the call,
To end it all.
So keep on walking.
  
 Now, if you need a feeling,
To keep you on the road you’ve started traveling on.
You’re going to have some trouble,
Learning that it’s faith that keeps you moving on
And in the Lord you start you’re walk from sitting.
But sometimes, you have to take a stand
Standing’s not another word for quitting,
It’s just taking a tighter hold on His hand…so
  
 Keep on walking, you don’t know how far you’ve come,
Keep on walking, for all you know it may be done,
And the Father might be standing up right now to make the call,
To end it all.
So keep on walking.

Keep walking, my friends. The Lord will be with us until the end. He promised to never leave or forsake us. So just keep walking.