When the Wind Blows

     The other night I was thinking about an old memory I'd had when I was a little girl. In fact, it is my very first memory, to be exact. I was maybe 2 1/2 or 3 years old and I can remember standing in my crib. The wall with the door was on my right, and to the left of me was a wall with windows, but they were higher up because it was a basement bedroom. Little curtains hung in front of them and I could hear the wind whistling eerily by the window outside. I stood there terrified of the spooky sounds the wind made, but I can also remember glancing at the left side of my crib, wondering if the angel on the other side was going to come out for me to see him or just stay hidden. (I gave an account of this to my mom recently, and she told me the room was exactly as I described.) 
     The memory stops there. I don't recall anything else from that night, or even in that house afterwards. We moved shortly after that time and all the rest of my memories come with the new home. And again, there were angels. Angels that flashed by the windows. A bright white flash that happened so fast that I couldn't make out a complete form, but it was so big it covered the windows as it flew by. I told my mom I saw angels and at first I don't know if she believed me, but it happened a few times. To this day I still believe they were angels. 
     So, I was wondering the other night, why don't I still see angels fly by anymore? Or sense their presence around me? Maybe it is because the Lord doesn't want me to worship them and He wants me to worship Him alone. Maybe the angel was my guardian angel as a child, and I don't need him anymore. Maybe I have lost my childhood innocence and am too grown-up to see angels. Maybe, but then again, I think there is simply a different way of looking at it.
     I was pondering this as I got ready for my day today, thinking back on my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week (taken from the book about Alexander's bad day). It was not an easy week. There were changes in my job that happened overnight which left me scrambling to fill in places that I was not prepared for. I felt overwhelmed at first. It was like the wind was blowing again, (and I still hate the wind to this day!) and I was fearful about the unknowns. Every morning I begged God to help me through the day, to have patience with the children, to have a clear mind to do what I needed to do, to give the administration wisdom how to proceed with certain decisions, etc. As the week went on, everything began to fall into place one piece at a time and my poor, foggy brain finally cleared up to see the light. 
When I do things, I throw my whole self into my job. I take Ecclesiates 9:10 seriously: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;" I don't do things halfheartedly. So, even with the challenge, I threw myself into my work and did what I needed to do.
     I wondered if I would make it through. Where were those angels watching over me? Why couldn't they take some of my load off my shoulders? God doesn't give us more than we can handle, right? Actually, that isn't true. God doesn't give us more than He can handle. He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. I just couldn't see Him for the wall I had up between us, like that crib wall. He was always there. And always has been.
     It hit me today that He gave me a kiss from heaven this week with the beautiful sky He painted for me. It was so beautiful I had to stop and take a picture of it. His handiwork is amazing! He painted that for me! So, I would remember that He was still watching over me. I may not sense angels anymore or see them fly by my window, but even on my windiest days, I can rest assured that the Lord is there and will protect me from the crazy storms around me. He is the eye of the storm and I can rest in Him. He loves me. I'll never know just why He does, but I am so, so thankful He does. 
     Have you made Him first in your life? If not, why? He loves you, too. And nothing will ever change that. Just believe in Him. He won't fail you. 
     Lord bless!