 It would be fun, he said. It would be another one of our adventures, he said. But as I looked down the endless mountain trail to the little specks that were cars at the bottom, I felt like this adventure was the worst fun I had ever had. It had seemed like kind of a good idea at the moment we decided to take the trip down on foot instead of standing in line for an hour in the cold wind at the top of the mountain. The line was not moving, so it was suggested we just hike down. Most of the gang agreed, but three of the girls said they were going to wait in line and take the gondola down. About 20 minutes into it, I decided I should have waited with the girls, because it didn't take long for me to realize I would never make it down alive. I did not have on the proper shoes for a mountain walk, so each step was carefully planned out. I knew I would lose my balance if I kept going straight down the steep incline. I found a good walking stick to use for balance, and began walking to the left for a few feet, veered to the right a few feet, then back to my left again. This was how I walked the entire way down. It may have taken longer, but it saved my life, or at least my dignity so I didn't fall face first in the mud. And I had lots of time to think about the last 10 months of the year....all the ups and downs of the year was like this trek down the hill. It had been easy during the start of the journey/year, but it soon became hard and exhausting. Each step of the way made me cry out to the Lord to help me have strength to keep going.  It all begain in April when Grammy Gwen took a downward spiral in her health. We had so much to look forward to and plan for with Alaina's wedding coming up. But the future was blurry and unsure as we watched Grammy continue to grow worse in the nursing home where she was staying. She was finally released on April 27th, but I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach of what the next few days would hold. She was not getting better in the nursing home, so maybe being back in her home and around her kitties would help her recover. But within days of coming home, she ended up in bed, too weak to even move herself. It was just shy of a few days of having Alaina's wedding shower....would she make it through the day? I did not dare tell Alaina until after the shower. I didn't want to ruin her special day. She would find out soon enough. Gwen made it through the day, but the night was rough as many people came by to say their goodbyes. Her little kitty Big boy decided he would guard her as much as he could by keeping her legs warm and safe. Kitties always know when someone is sick and they love to come and comfort as much as they can.  It was three days later when Gwen made her way to the gates of heaven. I had told her earlier that day to give my dad a big hug when she got there and tell him I was still serving the Lord down here. It was a very bittersweet day. I am so glad for the promise of heaven. A few weeks later I was teaching Sunday School when I got a text from Ben with one of the pictures below. He said, "Look what came to visit our house!" It was quite amazing to see such a large animal eating from my bird feeder. I stood on those very bricks later that day and thought to myself, "I am standing where a bear was standing!" I just love feeding my wildlife. Joe and I needed a little get away so we went off to Pennsylvania to see Daniel at Sight and Sound. It was nice to stay at the Steamboat Inn. Things were going to get busy around our home and it was necessary to just have some us time. When I got back Alaina invited me to one of her dress fittings, which I gladly accepted. I was excited to be included in her preparations and wanted to be there for her in all the ways she wanted to include me. She looked beautiful and I was not sure how prepared I was to see her in the dress on her big day. June came around and I began to sit on my back deck trying to get a few rays of sun on my winterwashed skin. I needed some vitamin D as well as color for the upcoming wedding. It was while I was sitting there one day this beautiful bird came to visit me on the railing. He even posed for me as I took a few pictures of him. The second picture is from a beach trip I took before the schools let out. It was a great time to just get away and write my thoughts down in my journal. The last picture was taken during 4th of July at Joe's brother's house. All the kids and a few friends came and went off kayaking on the ocean. We all had a great time. The big weekend had arrived. The wedding was set for Saturday the 13th, but we got there on the 12th for the rehearsal. It was such a beautiful place for a wedding and I couldn't get enough of the mountains and the water. The rehearsal went well, then we had a lovely dinner in a special area of the resort, where they had a pizza oven. They even made me a special cheese-free pizza for my very own. It was delicious. After our dinner, the entire group gathered at the water. Many went swimming, and many went kayaking or paddleboarding. I managed to snap a photo of everyone just before we all got out of the water to head over to the bonfire. It was an amazing feeling to just watch everyone having a relaxing time together before the stresses of the wedding day arrived. The first picture below is of Alaina looking at her Auntie Mickey's dress back in 2008. I titled it "Looking at the future." I told her that I wanted to get a picture of her looking at her own dress so I could put them side by side. The future was now here. Time sure does fly by. Just a few pics of the wedding day, as well as a fun picture of Alaina and me together. I love all my children. The day after the wedding Joe and I went off to spend the day with my friend Rachel and her husband Joe. We went to Queechee Gorge in Vermont and had a lovely time together. I had to get my yearly time in with my dear friend. In August we were hit with the strangest storm. It began raining and grew dark, then suddenly we heard hail hitting the roof and back deck. It got louder and harder, lasting for over 20 minutes. I could not believe how cold it got outside and how much it smelled like the winter. I shoveled a huge pile of hail balls and wanted to play King on the Mountain. Our front yard became a pond of hail and leaves. I had never seen anything like that in my life. The biggest piece we found was almost as big as a golf ball. Once Caleb and Alaina got back from all their travels, Dexter the bearded dragon and Mocha left our home to go live with them. It was hard to say goodbye to these pets that had been at our house for 7 years or more, and it took many weeks for me to adjust to their absence. I knew I would need to find some more kitties sooner than later to fill the hole that they had left. We needed more life in our house. September came and Joe got to do something he had been waiting to do for so long. Susanna finally got her license to fly alone, and took her dad up for a trip in the sky. It was a trip he will never forget and he put together a huge video of his time, which you can view on my facebook page if you are interested. Welcome our new kitties, Chia and Ham (was Hamish). The other kitties accepted them pretty quickly, and we are loving the new additions to our family. Within weeks of getting our new kitties, we went on our annual trip to Smuggs in Vermont. We had a great time as a family, and even met up with my mom and siblings while we were there. It is always a highlight of our year that we look forward to. The last picture is of us going up the gondola to the top of the mountain where this blog all began. Below you will see a group of swans that came to visit me while I was taking my walk around Spring Lake. I was so happy to see them and felt like they were coming to thank me for praying for them. Last year all of the baby swans had died due to many large monster turtles in the lake, as well as other issues that happened due to lack of food. But this year all of the babies survived, after many prayers on my part, and I was so glad they all made it. The other pictures are of Big Boy and Teddy in my new office at Grampy's house during the beautiful colors of fall. Who knew a blessing could come from a storm? After that hail storm happened, we had a free inspection and they found our roof was damaged as well as our siding. The insurance company approved us to get a new roof as well as siding on our house. We had been wanting to do something with the siding for years, but it was not within our means. With a little patience, and a huge blessing, the Lord allowed that storm so we could get the desire of our heart....blue siding put on our house. Doesn't it look amazing? And it isn't completely finished yet. God is so good! The talents of my children....both Ben and Susy were gifted with artistic talents...a gift passed on from their Grammy Gwen and their Grandpa Pinkham. I love seeing their work and look forward to one of them helping me work on another book someday. The middle pic is of my favorite decoration I've seen at a house down the road from us - I call it the Lion of Judah. So, that was a quick summary of my year in pictures. There is so much more that I could share, but those are the highlights. Though it all the Lord was good and gave me grace and peace, even when my heart was hurting. It was emotional in more ways than one, as we said goodbye to loved ones and had huge changes happen that felt both good and sad at the same time. All this went through my mind as I made my way down the mountain. (The girls took this picture of me walking down as they glided over me in the gondola.) I put my mind to getting to the bottom and kept making my way down. And I made it. Just like I made it to the end of this year. By God's grace and help every step of the way. And I know He will take care of us this new year. I can trust Him because He is always with me. And He loves me. God bless you. Have a Happy New Year. To 2025! 
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It was like entering a whole new world when I passed through the gate, like a forbidden zone or something that I had never been allowed to cross before. But today was different. Today was the day that Susy was going to take her daddy up for a flight and I was there to record the moment. With all the planes parked around the small area, the past year and a half of my daughter's life became real to me. She had been working so hard to get her first pilot's license, the first step of many in the process to becoming a full fledged commercial pilot. She had taken her first very stressfull oral exam early in the year, but had not passed it and had to wait until they could reschedule a time for the instructor to be back in the area. Another issue was the weather, which had to cooperate in order for her to fly once she passed the oral part of the exam. If there were too many low clouds, she couldn't fly. If it was windy or rainy, she couldn't fly. And it seemed like every time they set it up, it was canceled due to weather. "God has a special plan," I said. "It will all work out at the right time." Susy kept working and studying. She worked many shifts at her job just to pay for the flight training, which is not considered college so she couldn't get credit or financial aid for it. But her love for flying made her a dedicated worker, so she could fulfill this dream that her father had sparked in her. It all began after Joe had gotten his pilot's license to fly some small drones for pleasure and business. There was a lot of time and effort that went into that process for him, and he thought that Susy might enjoy flying the drones with him. They did go out a few times to fly, but their feet always remained on the ground while the drones went up into the air. One day Joe asked Susy if she would like to take a test flight in a real plane to see if she liked it in the air. We paid for her to go on her first flight, which again, sparked something inside her when she felt the freedom of flying like a bird in the sky. She took off with the idea and recently passed her exam and flight test with flying colors. And today I got to witness something I never thought that I would see. I never thought I would say that my daughter was flying a plane all by herself, with her dad by her side. I could have gone with them. There was enough room in the tiny plane for two more people to squeeze into the backseat, but I was not ready to go quite yet. I think part of it was because they needed that first time together to bond and make a special memory. Joe had been waiting a long time to be able to go in that plane with her and I didn't want anything to steal that joy. I was nervous to see them go, of course, but all the people who have gotten to know Susy at that small airport said she is an awesome pilot; that she knew was she was doing and my husband was in good hands. It gave me a peace inside to hear them praise her like that. So, I stood back and let them go, while the tears flowed down my cheeks as I watched my daughter fly. And I prayed for them. And as I sit here and write this, I think of my two other children who have also learned to fly in a different way, by getting married and moving out of the house. There is not much I can do to keep them safe in their flight paths, but pray, pray, pray. God is at the controls with them, teaching them, guiding them, helping them through each part of their flights. And my prayer for my children is that they will always, ALWAYS, listen for His voice and allow Him to be their first commanding pilot through every flight journey that they take. Enjoy the pictures! Life is a journey. For each of us there are many different paths and twisting turns that we go down, but we all experience the same emotions along the way, as well as the same events, such as births, weddings, funerals, etc that make up our lives as humans. But it's what we learn along the way that is the most important thing, especially when we let God be our leader and comforter of all things earthly. We don't know the struggles that are around each bend, the humps in the road that will seem impossible to pass over, nor the stresses that are strewn across our paths at any given moment. But He does. And we just need to take His hand like in Isaiah 41:13, "For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." Twenty-six years ago in May I began my journey of marriage with my husband Joe, where we vowed before an audience of about 85 people that we would love each other and be true to each other as long as we both should live. Having always lived with my family at home, life was going to be very different now because I was moving about 5 hours away, to another state where my husband had grown up and continued to live close to his family. I could not even begin to fathom what my family was feeling as they watched me excitedly move on as a married woman. My younger siblings were so young. My baby sister was only eleven at the time, and I had no idea how much I was going to miss as she and my three other younger siblings went through their teen years. I had always dreamed of starting my own family, with lots of children to fill our house because that is what I was accustomed to. There had always been noise all around me and I wasn't used to the quiet and loneliness during the days when Joe was at work. But that only last a year. In July of 1999, we had our first baby boy and my time was now filled with learning how to deal with a newborn. It was hard at first. I always felt like our first child was our guinea pig (sorry JJ!) as we learned how to raise a family, by God's grace. We made our mistakes, but are the first to admit that now, that we were not and still are not perfect. Then along came our second son. I quickly learned that going from one to two children was the hardest adjustment, especially when the second baby demanded so much time and energy. Yet, God was there with us and helped me through the struggles as a new mom. I wasn't so sure that having six was such a great idea anymore. Around that time I found I was pregnant again, but soon lost the baby when I was about six weeks along. I felt so guilty because I thought God was blaming me for not wanting another one so soon. I should have been rejoicing at the idea of new life, but I was tired and felt a bit worn down. It was on Caleb's first birthday that I found out I was pregnant yet once again, and this time my attitude changed. I know some people love being pregnant, but I never did enjoy having a stranger's body for nine (almost ten) months, and couldn't wait to finally hold my baby in my arms. We didn't find out what we were having so the excitement to find out what we had was something that kept me going through the deliveries. As a side note, our first child was born at the hospital, but all of the other children were born at home, two in the upstairs apartment of the house we rented, and two as waterbirths in the bedroom of our own home. Our third baby was due around December 23rd. I had invited my best friend Rachel to come help me out, including attending the home birth with the midwives. Alaina decided she did not want to be born on time and that extra week of waiting was excruciating. I just wanted it to be over and done with. I wanted to know if I was going to have another boy or if this time I would be blessed with a little girl, like I had been wanting for years. December 26th nothing happened, but that night I began to have some contractions. Joe and I prayed that night that it would be soon and that God would take care of all the details. It was then that the Lord gave me the verse I mentioned above, about how God was right there, holding my right hand, helping me and taking care of me. I have loved that verse ever since that day. It was about 6:30 am when the baby finally made an extrance into the world. Joe held the little one in his arms and turned to me as I laid on the bed. "Do you want to know what it is?" I braced myself to hear the words, "It's another boy," as I said, "Yes, of course!" "It's a little girl! We have a daughter!" He said as he laid her on my chest. The tears flowed that morning. Exhausted from laboring all night, but thrilled to know that the Lord had given us a little girl, I couldn't help but thank Him for His blessings. As I think back to that day when Joe held Alaina for the first time, I think of the title of this blog - to have and to hold. I had the baby and he held her close. For 21 and 1/2 years we have been holding her close. Raising the family God gave us to the best of our ability - all five children (one more girl after Alaina, and then our youngest son, four years later). We have had our ups and downs, our struggles with job losses, with finances, with strange illnesses and things that just didn't make sense at the time. But God was always there, holding our right hands as we looked to Him for help in each matter that came along our path. And our journey as parents has taken us to another moment - the one that happened one week ago today. Our daughter Alaina's wedding. As Joe walked her down the aisle that beautiful, steamy Saturday afternoon, he held her close by his side. He stood by her as the question was asked, "Who gives this woman to be married?" His answer was loud and strong. "Her mother and I do." And then Joe gave up his role as the leader in our daughter's life and trustingly handed her over to the young man eagerly waiting to take her for his bride. It was the groom's turn to have and to hold Alaina. To embark on their own journey together as husband and wife, as I Joe and I did twenty-six years ago. And it hurt. It still hurts. Oh, I pleaded with the Lord to help me that day. To be strong for her and rejoice with her because she was so happy. I am happy for her and her groom. We believe God matched them up perfectly. We have gained a son, but there is a sense of loss. Not in the sense of never seeing her again. In fact, they are only going to live about ten minutes away from us. No, it's a sense of loss as to what once was. I feel it in every day life. Like at dinner when I am preparing two dinner plates for the working girls, and realize I only need to make one now. Or when we close the door at the end of the night instead of keeping it open for the last one to come in after being out late getting things ready at her new apartment. Or having her come into our room and chatting with me on the bed while Joe finishes getting ready for bed.... It's part of life that we will never get back. Though every phase of raising children was not always fun, they had their good moments and I learned to like something about each. And I know this new phase is going to have lots of good moments and I look forward to seeing what God will do in their lives, as well as ours as we adjust to our new normal. Because it isn't us that have and hold forever....our children are just on loan to us for a time. It is the Lord's job to have and to hold forever and ever. He lovingly holds their right hands in His own and we can rest assured that He will take them on their journey that He designed so beautifully for them. Amen.  How can I put what I feel into words? I am a writer, but my mind and heart hurt too much to think too deeply. But then again, writing has always been my way of relieving stress and emotion. Nothing listens as well as the blank page, though I have learned through trials of life that there is another One Who I can go to. There is One Who is always there, not needing me to pick up a pencil, but just to whisper the words, "Lord, please help me. Give me strength to do what I need to do." And He does.
And He did it again for me and our family during the last week and a half. I could see Him orchestrating everything: from timing things perfectly; to putting people into our path who could help us; to opening doors for medical equipment that He knew we were going to need, and so much more. It was not an easy task, taking care of my dear, sweet mother-in-law, Gwen Simmons, but I did it because I loved her. I did it as a thank-you for all that she had done and given us over the last 26 years of marriage. She was a walking encyclopedia. She remembered everything she had ever read and could tell me right away what I needed to do when one of my children slammed his head into the bunk bed ladder and grew a goose egg as big as it sounds. She knew exactly what to do for diaper rash, sick children with strange symptoms that made no sense, and many other issues that arose from having five young children. And through it all, she never pushed. She just waited for us to go to her and gave advice as needed. She was the best mother-in-law a lady could ever want. And she considered me a daughter. And a friend. She always took an interest in what was going on in my life and the family. She often talked to me about music, and what I was doing with my little girls' choir or drama class. Whenever she heard a plane fly overhead, she would ask, "Is Susy flying today? I think I heard her plane." She loved to listen to stories about Alaina's job at the vet, and all the adventures the animals, and their crazy animal owners put her through. She loved to hear about Ben and his interest in learning guitar and music theory. She liked to take me back to the day when Joe walked into the house after we had first met and he told them about me. Right away she knew I was the one for her son because of the different way he acted. He had never responded that way before with a young lady and her mother's heart knew. And then when she met me the first weekend I came down in June of 1997, she saw me standing there with my church dress on and bare feet and said, "That's a girl after my own heart. A country girl." Her eyesight was fading, but she still enjoyed looking out at the hummingbirds and little house finches that came to sit on the hook I put in front of her living room window. The giant metal butterflies of bright yellow, pink, blue, and green we placed on the trees helped brighten her world for a little bit. I knew it was hard for her to know that she wouldn't be able to see much longer. Even the bright blues were getting tough to pick out on a page. Her eyes closed last Friday, and remained closed until Tuesday night, around 5:25pm, when suddenly they popped open. I am sure she was seeing the gates of heaven at that moment, and the beautiful, unexplainable colors of the celestial city. Maybe she was seeing Jesus for the first time. Whatever it was, I am sure it was beyond words. And then she was gone. Whisked away into the arms of her Saviour where pain and sorrow no longer exist. This experience has left me exhausted from the constant care, but it also has left me breathless in amazement as I see death in a new light. I always feared it before, not understanding the process, but she was so peaceful. It is a lot like birth - it happens at the moment that has been perfectly planned by God, and you can't rush the timing. There is a time and a season for both. Rest in peace, dear Gwen. It was an honor to be by your side all this time. Please give my dad a hug for me, and sing with those angels. You will always be in my heart. The other night I was doing my daily Bible reading and was enjoying the part of the story when Joseph finally tells his brothers that the man under all the frills and Egyptian make-up was him. "I am Joseph," he announced to his stunned brothers.
The story of Joseph is one of my favorite stories of all times, but I always find that particular part of the story so amazing! It never fails to brings tears to my eyes every time I imagine him coming to that point when he just could not wait any longer. They had passed all his tests to see where their hearts were at this point in their lives, and he must have been satisfied with it because suddenly he just HAD to tell them. It was time to give the big reveal! Too bad there weren't any cameras around at the time because the looks on their faces would have been fun to see. Yet, after the surprise was over, they had to face the fact that their father needed to know. And telling him that Joseph was alive meant they had to confess to what they had done and tell the truth. Joseph had sent a gift of wagons to carry all of them back to Egypt, as well as donkeys laden down with goods to keep them alive until they returned to him. There was no keeping the secret any longer, but I've often wondered if they confessed right away when they saw their father, or if they just simply told him that Joseph was alive and waiting for them in Egypt? It says they relayed all that Joseph had told them, but did they keep the part about how Joseph got to Egypt out of the conversation? So, Jacob, after finally coming to the realization that he was going to see his son again, after twenty plus years, he begins his journey, only to stop along the way to make sacrifices to the Lord. It is there that God comes to him in a vision during the night and speaks to him. He reassures Jacob of the promise of making him a great nation, and that Joseph is indeed alive and will be there when Jacob dies. This part made me pause for a moment....God knows everything, right? God sees the past, present, and the future. He knew Jacob would make this journey to see his son, the one that he thought had died by the hands of cruel beasts of the woods. God could have told Jacob so many years before and let him know that he would see Joseph again! Wouldn't that have been the kind thing to do? It kind of reminds me of the story of the Wizard of Oz...the "good" witch kept guiding Dorothy along the way, never telling her that she could simply click her heels, which would allow her to return home. She could have saved her lots of grief and worry along the way if she had just told her upfront the solution to all her problems! But no, there were lessons to be learned, and things to do along the journey. And so it was for Jacob. And especially Joseph. If Jacob had been told the truth that Joseph was alive in the beginning, he would have gone after his son, rescued him, and brought him back home saving them both from horrible grief and misery along the way. If that had happened, what would have become of them in the long run? Would they have died when the famine hit the land because there was no food prepared for the hard times? God knew. He had hand picked Joseph for the job because He knew Joseph's heart. And so God did not tell Jacob because He needed His plan to be fullfilled. He wanted Jacob to wait. This is where my title of the blog comes in - The Waits of Life. You probably thought I misspelled the word, but there is no mistake. The weights in this world are often God telling us to "wait" for the answer. For His timing. He may not answer for a day, a month, a year, or even twenty years, like Jacob, but He will give an answer when it is right. And in the meantime, the time in between is often used to shape us, mold us, and refine us so we can be exactly who He wants us to be when the time is right for the answer. I hate waiting. I hate not knowing what is going to happen, or what decision I should make regarding an important matter. I had one of those days yesterday. It was one of those strange days, where lots of things happen that are not normal. One of them was finding a little purple finch under my bird feeder. He was hurt and unable to fly. I took him in my hands and got him warm. He closed his eyes trusting that I was not going to hurt him and rested. I ended up bringing him inside and nestled him in a cozy towel inside a box where my kitties could not get him. I could see he was not doing well so I prayed that if he was going to die, that the Lord would take him quickly and not let him suffer. Within an hour he had passed. The verse about God seeing every sparrow fall went through my mind. I am thankful God answered my prayer quickly for the sake of the bird and I did not have to wait a long time to know what to do with him. But there are other matters I need to wait for such as salvation for family members and resolutions to financial matters that still lurk under the surface, never seeming to go away. These weights can be heavy on the shoulders. It can seem like they are pushing me underneath the waves and I can't take a breath of fresh air. Yet, God knows. He knows my past, present, and future. He is using this time to make me to be who He wants me to be, shaping me, molding me, and refining me. He wants me to hand these weights over to Him, to let Him carry me through these tough times as I wait for His perfect timing for answers. "Casting all your cares upon Him for He careth for you." I Peter 5:7 "Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly of heart; for My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30 I want to meditate on these verses today as I learn to give Him the weights in life, and learn to wait on Him. Won't you join me today? The title says it all. It's the start of a new year, a new chapter in the journey of your life.
My life. I do love the feeling of starting over, so to speak, with an unwritten page in front of me, wondering what is going to be written on the lines of my life. I could easily pick up the pen and write in what I want to happen, what I think should happen, or I could hand the pen over to the One in charge of my life and trust Him to write what is best for me. Philippians 4:6 says, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:". God is not going to steer me wrong, but I need to keep on seeking His face. Seeking Him daily for wisdom, for help with life decisons, for courage to stand up for Him, and for the others in my life that He has called me to pray for. So many times I have failed the Lord and I fall short of His glory all the time. Yet, He keeps on picking me up, just like a father that tenderly helps his child up after falling for the 100th time as they learn how to walk. Anna sang a song on Sunday that I love and the words go like this: "I ask You: "How many times will You pick me up, when I keep on letting You down? And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound? And You answer: "My child, I love you!" And as long as you're seeking My face, you'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace." As long as I keep seeking His face. As long as I keep putting Him first in all that I do and say. Then will I walk in the power of His grace. His daily grace. Now, that is my New Year's resolution....to really seek His face this year. To be a shining light to all those around me in this dark world. And to be a prayer warrior for all those who need me to stand in the gap for them, friends and family. May God help me keep this resolution close to my heart. Amen! Hello everyone! Joe was suddenly inspired to write a little story about popcorn balls. We had been at the store and I remembered that it was the one that always had those little prepackaged popcorn balls we all love to eat this time of year. To his dismay, they were completely out of stock. He tried another store only to find they were out, too. The lesson we learned this year was that we need to get them right after Thanksgiving. But something triggered an idea for a story in his mind and he wrote this up, with a little help with editing from me. So, here you go. Enjoy this little story called, The Great Popcorn Ball Christmas.
Snow fell outside the living room window as David and Esther decorated their seven-foot tall tree with lights and ornaments. Abigail, their four-year-old daughter danced, in joy as she watched the large flakes quickly cover the yard. Her long curly hair bounced in her excitement as she hopped over to where they worked. “You’re like a little bunny today!” Esther, her mother laughed. Abigail’s nose wrinkled as she grinned. “Can we make a snowman? Can we? Can we?” Esther could not help but smile back. “I’d love to, but I need to make cookies for Daddy’s work party. Maybe Daddy can take you outside after we’re finished here.” David looked at Abigail, glanced at the clock, and then looked back at his bouncy daughter. How could he say no to that adorable smiling face with the wrinkle in the nose? “Well, in a half hour the snow should be deep enough, and we should be done with the tree. Then we can go out to play.” “Yay!” replied Abigail excitedly. “We’re gonna build a snowman! We’re gonna build a snowman!” Abigail bounded over to Elliot her brother, who was sitting on the floor in front of the television playing on the gaming console. In a loud voice she asked him, “Wanna build a snowman?” Elliot rolled his eyes without even looking up from his game, “No, I have to beat this level before Eric does. Otherwise I’ll owe him my dessert from my lunch bag when we go back to school.” “Maybe I will have to pack you two desserts next time,” Esther said as she passed the two children on her way to the kitchen. Abigail grew bored watching her brother play and went back to David. “Can I help decorate?” David had just placed the star on tree, but noticed it was leaning to the side. “Sure, Abby. I can use your help fixing the star.” He lifted Abigail and put her on his shoulders. “Just push the star toward the kitchen.” Abigail gently pushed the star in the direction her father instructed. “Like that?” “Yes!That’s perfect!!” He set Abigail back on the floor and glanced out the window. “Hey, Abby, look! The snow is much deeper now! Let’s get ready to go outside!” With an excited gasp, Abigail cheered as she twirled around before racing to get her snowclothes on. The two quickly bundled up and hurried outside into the winter wonderland. They made what Abigail called “a huge” snowman, because it was taller than her. They played outside for a couple of hours, and were soaked to the skin from the wet snow. When they finally tired of their outdoor antics, they both came inside dripping from the melting snow. After hanging up their wet outerwear, they went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate so they could warm up their cold bones. The rest of the family joined in as they sat at the kitchen island, drinking their hot drinks and sampling Esther’s fresh baked cookies. Suddenly David’s phone rang. He glanced at the caller id and saw that it was his sister, Brianna. He answered and discussed the events of the week as he sipped his hot chocolate. Brianna confirmed she would be arriving in the afternoon on Christmas Eve. David was very excited about seeing his sister and her family. It had been almost ten years since they had been able to spend Christmas together. He and Brianna talked about their favorite Christmas experiences and traditions. “Do you remember getting popcorn balls in our stockings?” she asked him. David exclaimed, “Oh, yes! I loved those! I had forgotten all about them because I haven’t seen them in the stores for years!” Brianna responded, “Yes, they are really difficult to find.” For about twenty more minutes, they continued to reminisce over Christmases gone by, but at the back of David’s mind was a plan to get popcorn balls for everyone. It would put the finishing touches on what was already starting to be a perfect holiday. The busy work week flew by as David was preoccupied with getting the year end details straightened out before his vacation. It was not until December 23rd that David suddenly remembered his plan - to search for popcorn balls. After looking at the clock, which read 5:45am, he quickly went in the shower to get ready for his noble quest. When he was ready, he left a note for Esther and kissed her cheek while she was asleep. He then went outside to warm up the car, dusted the snow off, and then shoveled the driveway enough to pull out into the road. So, David excitedly began his quest. He went from store to store, only to find that they had all sold out of stock since the week after Thanksgiving. Yet, he still felt hopeful his efforts would be fruitful. David decided to try a small family grocery store. He saw the owner picking up a broken jar in an aisle. As if he knew David had a question, he peered up at him over the top of his glasses. “Can I help you find something?” David replied sheepishly, “Um, do you have any popcorn balls in stock?” The owner began to laugh. “If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me that this week, I could take my wife on a trip to Hawaii.” Dejected, David politely thanked the man and left. Would he ever find them? At the next store he noticed another man also asking about popcorn balls. It seemed they both had the same idea. After making five more stops and seeing the same man at each stop, David decided it was time to bring up their mutual quest. David introduced himself to the man and found out his name was Tyrell. They discussed their lack of success during the day, and the fact they both used to love getting popcorn balls in their stockings every Christmas growing up. David noted a look of discouragement in his eyes that went beyond their search for popcorn balls. In an effort to give it one more try, Tyrell suggested a more efficient way to search for the popcorn balls. If they each took a side of town, they could search faster and more efficiently, alerting the other if they discovered a place with popcorn balls in stock. They exchanged phone numbers and then continued on their journey with their hope in their quest renewed. David tried eight more stores that day and then gave up. His dream of giving his family the perfect Christmas had been dashed. Defeated, he drove home. In his driveway he texted Tyrell, “Any success?” Tyrell replied, “None. You?” “No. But I hope you and your family still have a great Christmas.” After what seemed like a very long pause Tyrell responded, “You too. God bless you and your family with health and happiness.” “Thanks. You too.” That was the last response from Tyrell. The nagging desperation in his eyes haunted David. It was as if Tyrrell had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Trying to muster some semblance of holiday cheer, David went into the house. Esther met him at the door and saw the frustration on his face and his empty hands. “ No luck in finding the popcorn balls?” she asked. He shook his head. “I looked everywhere! I guess everyone and their brother wanted them too! I just waited too long.” Esther gave him a hug. “Why don’t you join the kids and I in the living room as we watch a Christmas movie. It might take your mind off of the long day.” By the time David’s head hit the pillow, he had almost forgotten about his failed search and drifted off into a dreamless sleep. The next day his sister Brianna arrived with her husband Walter, and three children, twins Charlene and Darlene, and Nancy. They arrived in an airport limousine, which pulled up in front of the driveway. David was excited that their long awaited Christmas holiday could begin and he was going to enjoy every minute with them. Even though there were no popcorn balls, it would still be like the holidays he and his sister remembered. Christmas morning arrived. It was everything he had hoped for, and they had a great time opening their stockings and presents, and ate doughnuts that Grandpa and Grandma had brought over when they came to join in the festivities. David’s dad set a wrapped box next to David and smirked. “Your sister told me to get this for you.” David slowly opened the present with a sense of anticipation. As he opened the top flap, a plastic bag fell at his feet. As if in slow motion, he reached down to pick up the bag to discover it was a popcorn ball. David was so excited! All he could say was, “Yes!” Upon further investigation, he found the entire box was filled to the brim with popcorn balls. After marveling at the treasure before him, he looked around and said, “I can't eat them all, anyone want one?” One by one, David tossed one to everyone in the room who wanted one until half of the box was empty. But there was a nagging feeling that tugged on David's heart strings as he stared at the remaining treats in the box in front of him. David grabbed his phone to text Tyrell, “I found them. I have about fifteen popcorn balls I can bring you.” Tyrell responded with one word to start, “WOW!” Then he texted, “Hold on a second. Let me ask my wife if it’s okay.” David waited and then another text popped up. “She said sure. And I will give you money for gas and pay you for them as well.” David replied, “Just text me your address and we’ll discuss that later.” David told his family the story of the man he had met at one of the stores. Although his family found the entire situation a bit unusual, it seemed like it had the “Christmas spirit” about it, so they waved to David as he loaded the box of popcorn balls into the car and left to drive to Tyrell’s house. Tyrell met David outside and was happy to see him, but he didn't ask about the popcorn balls right away. Tyrell invited David in and introduced David to his wife and his four children. David noticed that their little boy, who’s name was Tyrell Jr, was obviously having cancer treatments, having had lost all his hair and looked very frail. David approached the young boy, who was about the same age as his son Elliot. He smiled at him and asked him if he had enjoyed his Christmas. Tyrell, who was not shy, began talking his ear off and told him about all the things he had received that day. David wondered how Tyrell Jr could be so happy for someone obviously so ill. If his family was to go through what this family was going through, it would be a miserable time. Yet this family seemed so happy! Tyrell interrupted his son’s conversation and pulled David into his home office to talk privately. “I can’t thank you enough for bringing these.” He held up one of the popcorn ball bags. “I had wanted to give my family the best Christmas ever and felt like I had failed. I’m sorry if I seemed down and out the day you met me. We had just received a disturbing diagnosis for Ty Jr. and it had upset me.” Tyrell cleared his throat and his eyes grew glassy, “This may be his last Christmas with us. I thought it might help if I kept myself busy going from store to store searching for popcorn balls. I should have been here with my family, treasuring each moment with them because it might never come again.” David choked back tears at the revelation. There was peace in this house, one he could not explain. It was a peace he didn't have in his home. Although his family was happy, and he had a good career, he didn't have this same peace in his life. He could not help asking, “Why do you seem so happy when you have such difficulties in your life?” Tyrell shared with David his faith in Jesus, and led him to a salvation experience in Christ. Back at home, David related the events to his family. They had mixed reactions, but were largely positive. Yet, no matter what the others said, David now felt the peace in his own heart and knew that his life was forever changed. In the coming weeks and months, David developed a close friendship with Tyrell, and the two became like brothers. David’s family began attending services at Tyrell’s church, and one by one his family accepted Christ as their Savior. Both families grew close together and were there for each other through the tough times and good times. Decades later, David and Esther stood outside the door, arms full of Christmas presents, as they said goodbye to Tyrell and his wife. Tyrell Jr, who had beaten the odds of cancer, also stood in the entryway, with his son close beside him. “This was one of my favorite Christmases,” David commented as he began to head down the steps. Tyrell Sr. tipped his head. “One of them? Which one was your favorite?” David smiled, "My favorite was the great popcorn ball Christmas.” “Yes, mine too! And don’t forget that was also the Christmas when we met and became brothers!” Tyrell Sr reminded him. Tyrell Jr turned to his dad. “That was also the time I prayed for God to give you a miracle for Christmas. I thought the miracle would be Him healing me, which He did later, but God gave you a best friend, saved his family, and gave us some popcorn balls.” Tyrell Sr. hugged his son, and said, “God has truly blessed me. I love you, son.” His son responded, “I love you, too, Dad.” David smiled at the show of emotion in front of him. “This is a fine way to end a great day, but if I don’t get home soon I will be falling asleep at the wheel.” Esther nodded in agreement. “And I want to get home in one piece, please!” With that, they all said goodnight and got into their car to head home. When they reached the house, David opened the trunk to bring in all the gifts, and at the bottom found a strange looking box that he knew he had not put in there. On the top of the box was a note that said, “I found them.” Upon opening it he saw a pile of popcorn balls ready for eating. Tears filled David’s eyes. He was grateful for all that God had done for him in his noble quest because he had found so much more than popcorn balls….he had found everlasting life, and a remarkable friendship that lasted a lifetime. The End  Psalms 119:164 "Seven times a day do I praise thee because of thy righteous judgments." Yesterday at church, Pastor Bish gave us a seven day challenge that I decided to do this week. He quoted the verse above and said something like this: "If more people were to praise the Lord during the day instead of complain about things, this would change our entire attitude." I felt like this would be a good thing to do this week, seeing that it is Thanksgiving week and so I said I would do the challenge. Though it is later than I planned to post this, I have still been stopping today to thank the Lord for the many things that He has blessed me with in my life. This is going to be a different type of post because I will be adding to it each day, but my hope is that my focus will get off of the negative things around me and boost my spirit with thankfulness and praise for the goodness of the Lord. Won't you join me in stopping seven times each day this week and thank the Lord for something good He has done in your life? (Note it is hard to find just one thing to be thankful for each time so excuse me if there are multiple praises and thanksgiving.) Day One (Monday, Nov 20th, 2023) 7:00AM - I am thankful for a new day where His mercies are new, and for hot water for my shower. 9:30AM - I am thankful for the ability for me to go shopping and get provisions for my family. He supplies all our needs! 10:30 AM - I am thankful for a little extra $ to buy things for friends that will bless them and put a smile on their face. It really is fun to give! 2:00 PM - I am thankful for the beautiful birds that come to my bird feeders and fill the air with color and song. God really is such an amazing artist with the earth as His canvas. 4:45 PM - I am thankful for fun lights and lanterns to make my house cozy when the sun sets at 4:30 these days. 7:00 PM - I am thankful for the health that my family has had. We never had a broken bone, even though we thought that Caleb would surely be the one to do that with all his crazy antics. We never had any serious diseases, for which I am very grateful. 9:45 PM - I am thankful for my husband who I can talk to, who gives me helpful advice about tough decisions we have to make in life. 10:30 PM - I am thankful for my soft, warm bed to sleep in. Day Two (Tuesday, Nov 21, 2023) 6:30 AM - I am thankful for warm little kitty bodies who sleep against me during the night. 8:00 AM - I am thankful for the smile (if you can call it a smile that early in the morning) on my son's face as he heads off to school with a good and positive attitude toward his school day. 9:30 AM - I am thankful for a reliable car that gets me around to do all the errands I need to do everyday. 11:30AM - I am thankful for my salvation and being raised in a Christian home. 2:30 PM - I am thankful for a cute little office where I can do my work for our business. 6:00 PM - I am thankful that none of our children had any horrible diseases, nor have we had any broken bones and our visits to the doctor were minimal. 9:30 PM - I am thankful for times when we can gather in our living room with our children and hang out and chat about different things about life, work, and just have fun. Day Three (Wednesday, Nov 22, 2023) 7:00 AM - I am thankful for the rain to water the earth. 9:00 AM - I am thankful for days like today (before a holiday) when everything in my kitchen smells good. 12:30 PM - I am thankful for my kitties who make life very interesting with their antics. 2:30 PM - I am thankful that Grammy Gwen is doing much better after being so sick last week. 5:30 PM - I am thankful I had the energy to get everything done that I did today. 10:00 PM - I am thankful for the time I can rest because after 17,000 plus steps, I am exhausted and hurt all over. Day Four (Thursday, Nov 23, 2023 Thanksgiving Day! 7:00 AM - I am thankful I did not have to get up to an alarm today, though my mind woke up early and wouldn't stop thinking about the day. I was very busy today as I prepped for our Thanksgiving meal with our guests, so I did not have specific times I stopped to thank the Lord for things. But here are a few things I am thankful for about this day: I am thankful it was such a beautiful day outside and the sun was shining. I am thankful my huge turkey came out nice and moist. I am thankful that we could be a blessing to our youth pastor and his family and enjoy a meal together. I am thankful for children who can step in and help me peel potatoes, set the table, and do other things that I just couldn't fit in. I am thankful we had enough food for all and plenty of dessert to go around. I am thankful that my mother-in-law did not end up in the hospital this Thanksgiving time. Day Five (Friday, Nov 24, 2023) 7:00AM - I am thankful for a day to work with my mother-in-law and catch up with her this morning. 8:30 AM - I am thankful that I can sing and write songs 10:00AM - I am thankful for electricity and lights to see by 1:30 PM - I am thankful for the news that some hostages were released in Israel and that the temporary cease fire has given my friend some time of peace for her and her family. 3:30 PM - I am thankful for the snow that I got to see on my travels through Vermont. 4:00 PM - I am thankful for the little nap I took in the car to help me feel revived. 6:30 PM - I am thankful we reached my family's house safe and sound Day Six (Saturday, Nov 25th, 2023) 8:00 AM - I am thankful for a new day to spend with my mom and siblings 10:30 AM - I am thankful for the crisp, clear air of the mountains 11:30 AM - I am thankful for the amazing beauty of the mountains around me 1:30 PM - I am thankful I had enough ingredients to make plenty of dessert for the party 3:30 PM - I am thankful that my sister-in-law was feeling well enough to come to our Pinkham Thanksgivng 5:00 PM - I am thankful for the kitties that surround me and make me laugh at times. 9:00 PM - I am thankful for bedtime after a long day Day Seven (Sunday, Nov 26th, 2023) 8:00 AM - I am thankful that it is Sunday 11:00 AM - I am thankful I got to join my brother, sister, and mother at church today. 2:00 PM - I am thankful for lunch time to help stop my growling stomach 3:30 PM - I am thankful for my husband helping pack the car so we can get on the road before any bad weather 5:30 PM - I am thankful for rest stops to take a bathroom break on the road 8:00 PM - I am thankful that our travel was smooth and we got home safely. 9:15 PM - I am thankful to be back in my own bed to sleep, with my kids and kitties close by. This is the end of seven days of gratitude, but in no way does my gratitude and thankfulness stop here. I hope this is just the beginning of telling my Lord just how grateful I am for all He has done for me. I'm sure we have all done it sometime in our lives...made a dinner or two that was simply one of those ones where your husband looks at you and says, "Do I really have to eat this?" I must say my husband is amazingly thoughtful though, and is careful with his words when it comes to my cooking. Over the years I have learned what he likes and what doesn't appeal to his pallette. I try to cook things specially for his taste, but back in the day when we were young and just married, I was just learning how to cook. I wanted to be a good wife. I wanted to cook healthy, low-fat meals, so I bought the no-fat cream cheese, the whole wheat pita breads, and the low-fat mozzerella. It all sounded good in the recipe I was using, but seeing those small, brownish pizzas on our plate was another thing. I took a bite. I felt like I was eating cardboard, but struggled through the rest of it. I glanced at Joe and he was eating it too, so I figured it must be okay. We had a few more left and I wanted to diligently plan ahead for the next day so I asked him, "Would you like me to pack one or two up for your lunch tomorrow?"
He looked at me with eyes of fear as he thought about having to eat more of these pizzas at work the next day. "Um, sure?" he answered. It suddenly hit me that he was not enjoying them either. He was just eating them to please me and make me feel good. My heart sank. "They really aren't that good, are they?" He shook his head. "I don't really like them, either," I told him. I quickly stood up and carried the tray to the trash where I dumped the terrible healthy, cardboard pizzas. We were both relieved we didn't have to eat anymore of that! We still laugh about that time now, though I must admit, I've had a few other failed dinners since then. But nothing like last night...this was completely different. And it wasn't entirely my fault. Maybe. I had my dinners all planned out for this week, but things changed when I heard I needed to make dinner for my in-laws last night. I changed out my meal idea for the evening and opted for my meatball soup with homemade bread, which was something that could stretch for a lot of people. I have been having a hard time learning to cook for smaller groups now that my children are here and there and yon most nights, so I was excited to make a big pot of soup for a crew. I went out to the store to get my ingredients. I stood in front of the ground chicken and a thought briefly crossed my mind that the chicken didn't look as bright and fresh as it should. The date said it was good until the 21st which meant there were still six days until it expired, so I brushed the thought away. I got four of them and the other items I needed and went home. I began making dinner early so I could get the food over to my in-laws before church that evening. I opened the first package of chicken and slight smell of something off hit my nose. Now I know that chicken always has a little smell to it, so I kept thinking that it was just the normal smell of raw meat. I opened the other packages and they didn't have as strong a smell, so I put the first one aside and made my meatballs with the other three. But something just wasn't sitting right in my spirit. There was an odd smell in the air that still seemed off. I just hoped it was the first package of meat I decided to throw away. As I rolled the meat into little balls and dropped them into my pot of boiling broth, I prayed over the meat. I know this sounds stupid, but God can change anything after a prayer of thanks, right? I prayed that there was nothing wrong with this meat and that nobody would get sick from food poisoning if they weren't good afterall. :( As the meat cooked, I made up my bread dough and popped it into the oven to rise. My mind was not thinking clearly having been a little stressed over what was boiling on top of the stove and I didn't realize I set the oven a little hotter than I wanted to allow my bread to rise. When I took it out half an hour or so later it seemed hard and dry on the top, almost like it had been cooked a little bit. Needless to say, I pulled off the top part to reveal still soft dough underneath, so I managed to make about fifteen rolls with the good stuff. The other half of th dough ended up in the trash. Ben came upstairs to see what was cooking for dinner. He often comes in to see what I'm making, but I think he does it to see if it passes his liking or not. He was very happy when he saw the huge pot of meatball soup cooking, so he went back down to his room to eagerly wait for dinner. It was almost 5:00 when I decided to taste test a meatball and see if it was all right to eat. With my dairy issues, I didn't want to eat a whole one because of the parm inside it, so I took one bite and chewed it. It had a funny taste to it, but I had to prove that it wasn't just my own fear cautioning loudly in my head. I took the other half of the meatball to Joe and asked him to try it. As he chewed it I asked him, "Does it taste okay?" He nodded, then glanced at my face in question. "I think so. Why?" I shrugged as I began to head back in the kitchen and then I heard him shudder and say, "Ugh!" I turned around. "Does it have a bad aftertaste?" He was looking at me now like I had sprouted horns. "Yes!" "Oh man, now we can't eat that soup. I wasn't sure if the meat was good from the start, but the expiration date said it was good until next Tuesday!" "You mean you fed me bad meat? Are you trying to poison me?" "No! I just needed your opinion without knowing the facts that might have changed the ending here." And then he tells me, "Well, the air has had a bad scent in it, like bad meat for awhile now..." I wish he would have told me that before I had made the soup! But now I had a new problem! I still had to make dinner! I still had to feed my family plus my in-laws... Tomorrow's dinner idea came into my head. I had the ingredients for stove-top parm pasta, so I dumped the nasty meatball soup down the disposal and began making a whole new meal with different pots and pans for all the items needed. About a half an hour later Ben came back up and stood in front of the stove in confusion. I had pasta boiling in a different pot on the stove, as well as sauce and two other pots in the back. He glanced at me with a raised eyebrow. "What happened?" He looked around the room still in obvious confusion. "Weren't you cooking meatball soup?" I wanted to tease him about how that was yesterday and how he had missed an entire day between then and now, but I was worn out and didn't feel like teasing anyone. I just wanted dinner to be done so we could move on from this disaster. Well, it all moved smoothly from that point, but I learned something here. Maybe a few things....first of all, if there is a check in your spirit about the meat sitting on the shelf, don't buy it. Move on to a different type or brand. Stick with your gut. Secondly, if there is a smell in the air that doesn't sit right in your head, don't use it. Stick with your gut. Thirdly, if there is something you want your husband to try, explain the situation and he may have some insight that can help you decide whether something is safe or not. Two noses are much better than one. ;) Life has a really bad habit of stealing time. It quietly sneaks around, snatching away the hours one after the other like it has nothing better to do. But now it isn't just hours, it's the years that seem to be fleeting away. Let me show you what I mean:
My oldest is now married and has been happily settled down with his wife now for five months, but it was just yesterday when I was holding him in my arms for the firist time, marveling that such a tiny little human had come from me! My second son is an adult, still living at home, but learning to make his way with his job, learning to pay bills, and trying to figure out what he should do with his life. But it was just yesterday when he had so much energy that we had to constantly tell him to sit on the couch and calm himself down, or stop breaking things! My prayer for him is to find what God wants him to do and put all his energy into that so he can live for Christ and be blessed. No matter what it is, God can guide him to that next step. My oldest daughter is engaged, with a wedding date set for next July. She is very excited, though extremely busy as she plans all the little details she wants for the day her dad gets to walk her down that aisle. But it was just yesterday when I was holding her little hands in mine as she learned how to walk across the room, her doll-face beaming in pure joy as she stepped out into a new phase of her young life. My fourth child, my second daughter, is learning to be a pilot. She is very adventurous, a bit like me when I was that age, but I would say a lot more daring. In another month or so she will be taking her flight test to get her small plane pilot license. But wasn't it just yesterday when Joe used to hold her up on his shoulders and pretend to fly around the house as he sung the Superman theme song? And lastly, my fifth child. My baby boy, who is no longer a baby, but the tallest person in the house. He is the only one left to drive to school every morning, and come next January, he will be able to get his driver's permit and will be driving me to school every day. The children always wanted me to be the one to teach them to drive, but I am not sure I want to do it again. I might send him to driving school if that will help us all a little bit with the stress of it all. But wasn't it just yesterday he was driving around in his Little Tykes car in the driveway, waving to us as he went past the walkway? The fact of how things have changed really hits me hard on nights like tonight. Now we never took our kids out trick or treating, but we created our own tradition at home, calling it "Hide from Halloween Night". I would make homemade pizza and fudge, turn all the lights out, and we'd watch a movie or two while eating pizza on a picnic blanket. The other day I asked the kid, if they wanted me to make pizza and fudge. They were all in agreement, but I keep hearing that more and more of them are going to be away doing their own thing tonight. Either working or hanging out with their friends. I grew a bit sad and asked one of them if I should even make anything special. "Of course! It will still get eaten! We love homemade pizza and fudge!" So, it is with a sad, but grateful heart that I move forward to make that fudge and pizza. Because, even thought they won't all be here, I still have children at home and I will cherish each moment I have them around. Because tomorrow, they might be off on their own. Thank God for memories and pictures. :) God bless you! |
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