"Is that it?"

     Note: 
         This was written early Friday morning, after all the events of Thursday night. 

        The curtain closed one final time. It was all over. The last five months of hard work on the play, 'The Pilgrim's Progress' was finished. As the applause for the cast faded away I heard the voices behind me say, "Is that it?" No announcement afterwards. Just an awkward silence that fell flat with the audience wondering if they could gather their things and go. 
        As I sat in a numb silence, relief rolled over me like a wave. But a sadness hit me as well. The words, "Is that it?" kept going through my head. Did the audience even have a clue as to how hard the students had worked to memorize their lines? How many hours had gone into reorganizing the script so I could keep the cast small (a necessary thing so my husband (the sound guy) wouldn't lose his head about the amount of mics we had to work with). Did they think about all the hours that had gone into organizing sound files, making scene backdrops, creating slides for the background, and gathering up props? All the time I had spent over the last five months planning, arranging, designating roles, encouraging the cast when they felt overwhelmed and discouraged...was that not important? 
      By the time I gathered my things and went behind the closed curtain, everyone was gone. All their mics were placed exactly where they had been instructed to put them, but the side rooms backstage were a mess. I silently gathered all the props and organized them into three piles: mine, school, and teacher's personal items. I took all the angel robes and halos down from their hangers and carefully packed them away. And through it all those words, "Is that it?" haunted me.  And my heart hurt. 
       Was that truly it? Was all the hard work that I put into the production going to be forgetten just like that? All the furious practices that had left me scratching my head, wondering if we were even going to get this play off the ground two weeks before we were scheduled to perform had left my head woozy. I knew a lot of people were praying for us. For the play. For everything to go well. And I had a very distinct peace about the whole thing. My line was, "Whatever happens, happens." I was good with that. Or so I thought. The play went really well and was the shortest run through of all our times. Though a few cast members briefly forgot their lines, they ad-libbed a bit and it was great. Even the youth pastor, who played Giant Despair threw in a few comedic lines of his own. And the new curtain behaved, overall. 
       What I wasn't good with was the let down the day after.  The let down after all is silent is real. Tears always come, as the fog of the crazy last few weeks fades from my eyes. The rainclouds have to let the water go somewhere. 
     You may ask, why do I do it? Why do I put myself through such an emotional roller coaster knowing full well there will be some sort of hurt afterward? I briefly thought that myself last night, but then a little head popped under the curtain as one of my elementary cast members peeked in at me. 
      "Hi!" she said smiling. "I just wanted to see you." 
      I paused and smiled as I walked by. "Hi, G---! Did you have fun tonight?" 
      "Oh, yes," she answered. "I remembered all my lines!" 
      "Yes, you sure did. All your hard work paid off. You did an awesome job." 
      Her grin said it all. This is why I do what I do. I love these kids and want to see them thrive, grow, and shine. Even if only one is touched by the effort, it is worth it all. 
     
         Note: 
         Later Friday afternoon, I received a knock at my door. It was the youth pastor's wife. She and her husband had gone ahead and purchased cards to have all the cast members sign for me. It took two cards to get all their notes written down. They also got me flowers as a thank you for directing the play. Tears came to my eyes as I gave her a hug. They had not forgotten me. And all the notes from the students touched my heart. It was healing and exactly what I needed. The Lord always knows. And He is good. And yes, I will do it all over again someday, if the Lord allows me to. :)