It was as if God was speaking directly to me today. Pastor's message hit me right between the eyes, but something inside was still afraid to let go and let God do His work, like that famous saying goes. All week long I have been doing a devotion about hearing God's heart and it has been speaking to me, encouraging me to fall on my knees and draw closer to the One Who desires to speak to me. He wants to hear my voice. He wants me to cast all the stresses that are driving me insanely into a corner onto His shoulders so I don't have to bear them by myself. Here is a little excerpt from one of the devotions that spoke to my heart: "Mary Magdalene had come to Jesus' tomb without a thought of the stone that blocked the entrance. Now that the stone had been rolled away, Mary still sought for His body, with a heart so full of love that she did not consider the difficulty of lifting and handling Jesus' body. Her cry was for Him, even though it was only the outer shell that she could find.....the gospel is not an idea - it is a person, it is Jesus. Mary was blinded with longing to touch Him with kindness again, to be drawn close that wondrous sense that all will be well, because He is." I love that...all will be well because He is. I want to desire such closeness to Him, that just being in His presence will assure me that everything will be okay.
It is interesting as how my oldest son has suddenly taken on the role that all young men are bound to take in their teens, and that is the role of leadership. He is not doing it in such a way that is overbearing or trying to take control of me as his mother, but in such a loving, gentle way that shows me he cares for me and is concerned for me. I have been overly stressed these last few weeks and he does not like to see me get that way. The last few days he has been quietly reminding me not to get so upset over things and to expect things to be more difficult than I am. "Nothing ever goes the way you plan, Mom," he told me the other day. "You need to accept that and not get upset. Things happen." Needless to say, he quietly put me into my place and I knew he was right. He made me examine everything deep down and he unknowingly showed me that I need to start bringing God back into the little things and pour my pain onto His shoulders. I remember hearing my mother get upset about some issues when I was a teen, but I was too afraid to bring it up to her. I was concerned for her health and heart and did not like to see her so stressed. Those memories flashed before my eyes, and I was sad that I remained silent instead of telling my mom how I felt. I am thankful for my son, for his wisdom in his young years, and for his reminder that I need to be an example to my children and show them that I need to go to the Lord with my requests. That is what Pastor spoke about today too, and when God speaks twice, He means business and I need to listen. The Lord showed me today that I have been holding back because I have been upset with Him about something. I have been a little angry that He did not answer a prayer the way I wanted and I have been holding back. The only one I have been hurting is myself though, and my loved ones around me. So, I pray that this revelation will cause me to change for the better this week and that I will remember that all will be well because He is in control. May this help you too, my friend, because no matter what He answers, He still loves you so much.
PS. And in closing, I just want to say that my oldest is now a working teenager. He was hired at Chik Fil A and learning the ways of a working person. And he loves every minute of it. So far. :)
It is interesting as how my oldest son has suddenly taken on the role that all young men are bound to take in their teens, and that is the role of leadership. He is not doing it in such a way that is overbearing or trying to take control of me as his mother, but in such a loving, gentle way that shows me he cares for me and is concerned for me. I have been overly stressed these last few weeks and he does not like to see me get that way. The last few days he has been quietly reminding me not to get so upset over things and to expect things to be more difficult than I am. "Nothing ever goes the way you plan, Mom," he told me the other day. "You need to accept that and not get upset. Things happen." Needless to say, he quietly put me into my place and I knew he was right. He made me examine everything deep down and he unknowingly showed me that I need to start bringing God back into the little things and pour my pain onto His shoulders. I remember hearing my mother get upset about some issues when I was a teen, but I was too afraid to bring it up to her. I was concerned for her health and heart and did not like to see her so stressed. Those memories flashed before my eyes, and I was sad that I remained silent instead of telling my mom how I felt. I am thankful for my son, for his wisdom in his young years, and for his reminder that I need to be an example to my children and show them that I need to go to the Lord with my requests. That is what Pastor spoke about today too, and when God speaks twice, He means business and I need to listen. The Lord showed me today that I have been holding back because I have been upset with Him about something. I have been a little angry that He did not answer a prayer the way I wanted and I have been holding back. The only one I have been hurting is myself though, and my loved ones around me. So, I pray that this revelation will cause me to change for the better this week and that I will remember that all will be well because He is in control. May this help you too, my friend, because no matter what He answers, He still loves you so much.
PS. And in closing, I just want to say that my oldest is now a working teenager. He was hired at Chik Fil A and learning the ways of a working person. And he loves every minute of it. So far. :)
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